Research Assignment Instructor Feedback
You have a very good draft. Below I have provided some feedback to consider when making final revisions to your assignment. The feedback is based on your responses/questions along with other needs I feel important to mention. If you have any questions after reviewing my feedback, let me know.
Your thesis statement (Life challenges affect people, but they give people chances to making positive change only when they are approached positively.) just needs to be reworded a bit sentence structure and clarity. Example: While life challenges may affect people negatively, they also give them chances to make positive changes if approached in an optimistic way.
**I just changed words to avoid redundancy and rephrased a bit to more concisely/clearly state the focus. Of course this is just an example for you to consider when revising.
The introduction paragraph is a bit confusing and needs some rewording/revision to improve flow and understanding/clarity. I think it may just be a matter of you leaving out some words or miswording a bit. I suggest reading it aloud to see if you can catch anything you misworded and revise accordingly. The content is good. It just needs to be clearer so that the reader can more easily follow your line of thinking.
The body paragraphs/main points seem clear and flow smoothly. My only suggestions is to consider working in one or two direct quotes. You do a good job of summarizing and paraphrasing from sources, but including direct quotes can add another level of credibility to a research assignment. You also do a good job of crediting sources with in-text citations. You should read the body aloud as well, though, to make sure you haven’t misworded anything when drafting in a hurry. It is always a good idea to read aassignment multiple times to check for errors. This applies to grammar/mechanics, too. Your grammar/mechanics mostly look good to me, but, as with the content, it is a good idea to give the assignment a good read-through for proofreading errors as well.
Your works cited page and formatting look good. You probably have already done so, but be sure to remove the question that you included at the top beneath the title and clean up the title to only include the actual title.
